I guess we all feel lost because we are so busy trying to be successful in our chosen careers, trying to please people, trying to get that 6-digit figure in our bank accounts, trying to compete just to be the best and subconsciously trying to be someone we're not. We get so caught up to these things that we lose focus and forget what we actually want, what makes us happy and what our purpose in life really is. Frankly, I've been to this stage many times and it's stressful. It feels bad not being able to meet the expectations other people. More so, it feels worst not being able to be the kind of person your parents expects you to be. I knew I needed guidance. I almost went to a priest for a talk. But a wonderful opportunity opened its doors for me. I was invited to join the Celebrate Your Purpose Workshop.
Days before the workshop, I had so much in mind. I was thinking of my backlogs, I was thinking of the work I just recently resigned from and how my family will understand my decision. I was thinking of my future plans that now, I'm back to being unemployed. I was thinking how I can relaunch my online business. I was not just thinking but worrying of so many things that it comes to a point, I'd cry staring at my bedroom ceiling, feeling worthless.
I somehow brought those worries to the workshop. Add to that the stress we have in our bar business. My mind wasn't clear and ready for the workshop but when I arrived, Marianne and Kimi welcomed me with their wonderful smiles, my mood changed. It quickly shifted from stressed to excitement. And beginning from that moment on, I felt more alive than ever.
Even in the beginning of the workshop, I already kind of have an idea of what my purpose is. I just needed affirmation. As we go on with the activities, in my mind, my purpose was showing itself to me. But I don't feel complete yet. I felt something was still missing.
I thought my purpose was to help change the world through community works and voluntary services. But I realized that it was too big and heavy for me to accomplish. So after the workshop, while I'm on my way home, I thought to myself... I can be an inspiration to girls who can be rebellious, hard-headed, sensitive and weak. Why them specifically? Because I used to be that kind of girl. Looking back at all the troubles I caused and I put onto myself, I wish I had someone to tell me what I was doing and what other things I was capable of doing to destroy others, or worst, myself. If only I had that support from someone of my age or someone older by a few years, I would have listened.
Realizing all these, I finally felt it. It felt like I found treasure beneath a pile of unnecessary things. I found my treasure. I found my purpose. It has been there all along, I just didn't care to dig deeper to discover it.
Indeed, it was amazing to realize how everything falls into place. The moments I felt I failed actually was the time when God led to me the right path. He allowed me to get lost so I could learn to work my way around. Cliche this may sound but He allowed me to get lost to find myself.
Now I that I have found my purpose in life, I find ways on how to celebrate it. Currently, I'm planning a site that will solely talk about growing up including all the difficulties that comes with it. I also plan to host talks in small communities like our barangay in the province. I aim to be the Ate these young girls need. I aim to celebrate my purpose in a way I will inspire others to do the same.