This was the thought that bugged me all throughout today. Have this thought bugged you once? Twice? Every day? Trust me, I know the feeling.
Personally, though I say that I don't exist to please anyone in this world, I still end up trying to please people. I guess we do it subconsciously because we want to belong... we want to be discovered or be recognized... we want to feel the care and love from others. We are so eager to find or feel happiness for being ourselves that we end up trying too hard until it hurts us... it destroys us... and by us I mean our very own selves... who we really, really are.
A friend once told me... "When you stop caring what others say or think of you... you'd enjoy your life... You'd live your life as YOU" Hmm. How true?
I'm the kind of person who is often judged and there came a time I suddenly got tired of being with people. I pulled myself away from society. Why? Because it's just so unfair how people would judge you by the things they probably just heard about or seen from you once or twice, or even for doing something they just find unfavorable. It's so unfair how they judge you by those things as if it's all that makes you.
I believe it's one of the biggest problem this society has. We are encouraged to be ourselves and to not please anyone but still ends up being judged. Most people try to be themselves but they ended up being alone. Why? Because the so-called friends left them. Why? Because they said he was weird. They said she was noisy. They said he was gay. They said she's a nerd. They said he had too many tattoos which makes him scary... and so on.
I guess it's not the "pleasing" we have to stop but the "judging". We should be reminded everyday that we don't know each other's life story so we have no damn right to judge others. We need more understanding; we need to understand why people do what they do or say what they say. We gotta stop finding faults from other people. It's a very unhealthy habit.
I won't deny that I'm a hell of a judgmental person too but I'm proud to say I'm trying to change that; I'm already in the process. I don't easily believe on hearsays or gossips anymore. I don't easily get cranky because some people did what I find unacceptable or irritating. Like for example... when someone cuts in line, I try to understand. Probably she didn't see us in line or that she's rushing because something happend... you know, things like that.
I believe when we start understanding others and when we stop judging them... they get the chance to be themselves. They will no longer be afraid and only then will they stop pleasing others. And only then will we live and enjoy life.
Just imagine a world full of understanding... how great would that be? Wouldn't you want to live in that kind of world? If yes, then do something. Just like what Mahatma Gandhi said... "Be the change you want to see in the world."
A 26-year old beach bum who loves pasta & shrimps. Hanging out with people is one of her pleasures in life. Marketing or self-help book shelves are the first thing she looks for in a bookstore. Her ideal Friday night would be with a book & coffee while her favorite shopping destination would be bazaar or thrift stores.
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